It all started over 46 years ago in the hills of West Virginia, when a desperate mother of two children went into unexpected labor for her third. She felt the baby coming and knowing she had no time to get to the doctor, had her husband call the nearest person who could help. This happened to be the local woman undertaker. She had very little experience with child delivery, but knew this was a desperate situation. She rushed to the home and arrived just in time to deliver a bluish-black, still-born baby of almost 10 lbs! The mother's umbilical cord had been wrapped around the little girl's neck, and she was pronounced dead on arrival.
As if this was not bad enough, the mother was losing so much blood, that she was in danger of bleeding to death. The undertaker/midwife tried to ignore the cries of the mother to hold her dead child, but after about ten minutes, could stand no more. She gave the cold, dead, stillborn daughter to her mother, to keep her quiet, so she could finish stitching.
She watched in shock as the mother lifted the child with both hands toward the sky and cried, "Oh God, if there really is a God, please let my baby live, and I promise I will give her to You and believe in You all my days!" Instantly, the child let out an ear-piercing scream - and has never shut up since!
Hence, I, Sandy, was brought into this world. However this miracle was not revealed to me until many years later, after I was saved, and called by God in the middle of the night.
I was eventually the middle child of 5 children, and we had a pretty nice childhood. My dad was a West Virginia coal miner and worked hard to take care of us. My mom stayed home and cooked delicious meals for us.
I can remember when I was old enough to go to kindergarten, and I did not want to go. When my mom took me out to wait on the bus, I began to cry. She would then console me by telling me that the birds were singing about how pretty I looked, and were saying, "Pretty girl! Pretty girl!" I listened, and that is exactly what it sounded like. That thought cheered me up and I stepped on the bus, and never cried again. To this day, every time I hear birds singing, I think they are singing to me - excuse me for my vanity - blame it on my Mom!
One Christmas when I was around 7 years old, my mom told us that the coal mines were on strike and we would be getting nothing for Christmas. Dad was hunting wild game to put meat on the table, and the strike had drawn out for a long time. We were very hard up and knew this would be the worst Christmas ever.
Christmas Eve came, and Dad returned home late that night with a huge gift for each of us. To this day, we have no idea how he did it - but it put such an admiration in my heart for him, that has never left.
My gift was the dearest I had ever received - it was a life-size doll, who's face would turn into 4 different moods. When you would pull her string, she would change faces, and then either cry, laugh, snore or say "Mommy, I love you!" At 7 years old - it doesn't get any better than that! I cherished that doll for years.
Sadly, my parents divorced when I was around 8, and, like one song says, "The children are the broken pieces when a home falls apart." That is why God hates divorce. Don't get me wrong - I love and honor my parents to this day, but I will always hate divorce.
But, I serve a God who can take what the devil means for evil, and make good out of it. He can turn lemons into lemonade. This experience has put a determination in me, with my own marriage, to make it last, and keep God at the center.
An Inner Tube, A Drowning Girl & A Bright Light
My dad remarried years later and I was now around 10 years old. The five of us children had heard all the "wicked stepmother" stories, and were very apprehensive about this new woman. To our surprise, she was very sweet and caring, with enough love to go around for everyone.
What I loved most about her was that she was the reason I was a cheerleader. She talked my dad into it, and then would pick my sister and me up after every game, no matter how late or how far. Also, I loved that she prayed. When dad would come home late from work, she would stare out the window and pray for his safety. Neither her nor dad went to church, but they made sure we went to Sunday School every Sunday.
They also took us camping with relatives every summer at the Potomac River, where dads could fish, kids could swim, and moms could cook and clean all day as usual, but just without electricity and other luxuries.
One day, my younger 8 year old sister and I were floating down the deep swift river, with my 2 year old female cousin sitting on top of a huge truck inner tube. This is a very common amusement for poor country people. Only those who have ever experienced it can identify with the thrill and adventure it creates.
My sis and I could swim like fish so never used a life jacket, but were sure to put one on our little cousin - Angel. The plan had started out with a bunch of us floating down the river rapids, through the calm, deep "devil's den" area, and then home. Some of the kids got scared and wanted to go on ahead, in the shallow water, and closer to home. They needed another life jacket, so we gave them Angel's.
Now it was just my sis, me and a two year old baby with no life jacket! We had passed over the fun, shallow rapids and were now approaching "Devil's Den," named thus because of how deep, dark and ominous the area was. Also, horror stories were commonly told about the area. Yet, none of this moved us. We were raised around water, could swim long distances, and hold our breaths for long periods at a time.
We made sure Angel sat still on top of the inner tube, holding onto the long protruding stem, while we played a game of seeing who could touch the bottom of the river first. Of all the years we had tried this, no one had ever been able to accomplish it. We planned to break that record today.
I had just went below water and dived deeper than ever before, when I was losing breath, so decided to return to the top. As soon as I came up and took a big breath, I saw my sister's head come up swiftly and tip over the inner tube. Angel went flying head first into the deep, murky water below. I quickly took another deep breath and lunged in after her.
Nothing but darkness - that's all I could see. Nothing but quietness - that's all I could hear. I refused to give up, knowing her life depended on me, and as the oldest, I was responsible for her safety. I just couldn't bare to live with the fact that Angel had drowned on my watch.
I had descended further than ever before, and still no sign of Angel. My lungs were crying out in pain, and my eyes were burning from the stagnant filth. In desperation, I called out to God, "Please help me!" Instantly, I felt the top of a child's head, and firmly grasped her by the hair. I never did touch bottom, but needed that extra push-off to make it to the top. Otherwise, I would never make it. Too much time had passed...
All of a sudden, I saw a bright light from above, and someone grabbed me by the chest and swiftly pulled me to the top, with Angel still in my grasp! I took a huge gulp of air, and laid Angel, belly-down, across the inner tube. She lay so still and quiet, that I thought for sure she was dead.
Then she turned and looked at us with a big smile on her face, as if nothing had ever happened. My sis and I began to laugh hysterically, while shivering from fear, at the same time. My sister swore it was not her that pulled me up. She had stayed at the top the whole time, waiting to help pull Angel up, when, and if, I found her.
I knew it was not her. I knew it was none other than a "real angel" from God above. I was now indebted twice to Him for saving my life! My song, "Jesus Rescued Me," was written from this experience. I can not thank Him enough for His marvelous intervention.
A Baseball, A Broken Nose and a Proud Heart
My Mom did not quite keep her vow to God, though she did take us to church occasionally. I remember praying every night for God to save me from any sins I may have committed that day. I did not know that you didn't have to get saved every day. But I did know that there was a God in heaven, and we had to give account to Him.
This righteous fear kept me from going into any deep sin - thank God. While most of my teen peers were drinking, smoking and taking drugs, I was on the cheerleading squad for our school basketball team. There were strict rules for members of this club, which also helped me live a higher standard than I probably otherwise would have.
Cheerleading was my life. There was no Internet, cable, video games, etc... back then. Life was plain and simple, and this was the highlight of my existence. I would practice day and night until I was doing backflips, cartwheels, frontflips and splits with utter ease. I would usually score the highest on all tryouts, and needless to say, this was all going to my head.
Not to mention, I had made a silent vow to God one night, that if he would let me have the cutest guy in the whole school (that all the girls were after), then I would serve Him. (Does this sound familiar? - like Mother, like Daughter?) Soon after that, this guy left his current girlfriend for me and we were now dating.
So, not only was I the best cheerleader, and a very attractive Miss-goody-two-shoes, but now I was also dating the most popular guy in the whole school! And for a teenager - believe me, it doesn't get any better than that - or does it? God says that pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. But the proud heart is never aware that it is being proud, and therefore can not see the impending danger.
One day, during a gym class in school, my boyfriend pulled up along the curb, on his cool motorcycle. Everyone watched as I went over and talked about plans, for later, with him. Then when I came back, I heard a voice saying, "You said that if I made him your boyfriend, you would serve Me." I immediately dismissed the thought with, "I got him on my own good looks - God had nothing to do with it."
Ahhhhhhhhhhh was that ever a mistake! Instantly, I saw a baseball coming towards my face, and before I had a chance to guard myself, it had hit me hard in the nose. Everyone was still watching me, but now instead of envy, they were gasping in horror.
Blood was everywhere - it gushed out like a fountain! The teacher rushed to me and tried to see how seriously I was injured. I was later taken to the hospital, only to find out that my nose was broken, and could not be fixed for a long time. This was due to the fact that the cartilage was deteriorating and the doctor did not want to operate, until it was finished running it's course - whatever that meant...
Anyway, meanwhile, here is a beautiful young girl with a ski-sloped shaped nose having to face all her peers each day in school - having to relive each moment over and over of that dreadful day. Needless to say, this created much insecurity and bitterness in my heart, mostly towards God. Yes, it was my fault, but it is so like the human nature to blame God anyway - shame on us.
One night, while I was having a pity party, I almost committed suicide. I was holding a fistful of my father's strong medicine, and was going to end it all. My mom, sis and I were always fighting. My boyfriend was acting strange, and I had quit cheerleading because of some cruel girls on the team. I was thinking, "I have nothing to live for anyway."
Just then, I heard a voice say, "You have no idea how bad it will be if you kill yourself. Hell is worse than anything you can ever suffer in this life, and it is forever and ever." "But I have nothing to live for!" I retaliated. "Live for Me," the voice said. "How do I do that?" I questioned. "Day by day, just say, Lord, what would You have me to do? Not, what do Iwant to do? And then you will be truly happy," He assured. The song I wrote, "Then I Saw Your Face," was written from this near-suicidal experience.
Wow, was it that simple? Is the long-sought-after, elusive secret to happiness in those 8 easy words? Lord - what - would - You - have - me - to - do? I had no idea these were the exact words Paul used, in the Bible, when he too was confronted and called by God. He had been a proud rebel like me - a holier-than-thou Pharisee of Pharisees. Sometimes, those are the hardest kind to convert. They can't see their sins. They look good in their own eyes, and compare themselves to others, not the Word of God.
I asked God what to do about my boyfriend. He told me to ask him what he thought about serving God, and then if he was in favor, to keep him, and if not, to break up. God told you that? Ummm yeah, in so many words. It wasn't an audible voice - most of the time it's that "still small voice." That's why I chose this theme, on the side of the page, about the sheep. It says that God's sheepknow His voice and follow Him.
My boyfriend did not want anything to do with God, so I broke up with him. It was not hard, because I only went with him to show off to the other girls, anyway. I then dated a few other guys, all of whom, as soon as I would dare drop the "God bomb", were scared away. I figured that screened them out pretty good, and when the right one came along, he would, instead, drop the "God bomb" on me.
I was trying to live, as the Lord had instructed on that special night, but was struggling every step of the way. One night, while sleeping in a little camper, at my aunt and uncle's residence (they were letting me stay there so I wouldn't fight with my sis and mom), I turned on the radio to find something soothing to help put me to sleep. The only channel I could receive was some preacher preaching up a storm. I thought to myself, "That's all I need right now." I heard that still small voice reply, "That's the very thing you need right now."
I got out of bed and fell on my knees, and begged God to save me and forgive me. I confessed every sin I could think of in the past 18 years, and cried all night long. Wow, something marvelous took place and I felt like a whole new person. I didn't even know about that verse that says, "If any man be in Christ, he is a new creature," but I was sure feeling it!
I had never missed a day of work and was always punctual, but I had to call in that day and take the day off, to sleep. My boss wanted to know what was wrong, because he knew it had to be serious for me not to come to work. I told him I would explain it to him the next day. He had no idea what was in store for him.
A Call, A Baptism, & A German Boss
I was now 19 years old and working as a cashier at a Murphy's Mart (a small version of the modern Wal-Mart). I had a dream while living with my aunt and uncle, that they were going to have a baby. They already had one small adorable son, and had been told that they could never have any more children.
I told her about my dream, while trying to talk them into going to church with me. They kept saying they would go, but never did, and soon they had another baby boy - just like my dream. I believe it was God trying to deal with their hearts, and today they are all attending church. The little boy grew up to be a preacher at college campuses! Praise God for His wondrous works among men!
I later went to live with my godly grandmother, and attended church with her regularly. I had always loved people and enjoyed my job. But my boss was a mean-spirited German that hated Jews, and was hated by everyone. I would leave tracts on his desk and witness to him occasionally.
I told him that you can not hate people, but you can only hate their ways. You must love everyone, and that I loved him, and Jesus loved him. He blamed the Jews for killing Jesus, and I told him that it was not the Jews, but his sins, and mine, that held him to the cross. Christ could have called ten thousand angels, but His love for us was stronger than any nails.
He threatened to fire me often, but thankfully, never followed through. It really upset him when I would place gospel tracts in the customers bags. But it broke his heart when I told him that I felt called to go to Bible college. The Lord had been dealing with my heart for some time now, and I couldn't ignore it any longer.
Years later, I ran into my boss at a grocery store, and found out that he had given his life to Christ, and was now faithfully attending church. The seeds of faith had been planted, and God brought forth the increase - praise His holy name!
That summer I went with some friends to a Pentecostal Youth Camp service. My best friend told me to go up to the altar after the service, and seek for the infilling of the Holy Ghost. She was going to go with me. The place was packed and the presence of God could be cut with a knife. I had never seen so many Christians in one place before, and it was like heaven on earth.
Well, you always hear that the devil goes to church too, and is that ever true. Sitting right in front of us, were two of the cutest guys that I had ever seen. And yes, they wanted to meet with us, behind the tent, right after the service. Hmmmm... what about me getting the Holy Ghost tonight? My friend assured me that I could always get filled another night - but how often do you find nice-looking guys - one for each of us?
A battle was raging in my heart. Then all of a sudden a loud message in tongues and interpretation was given, "You came here tonight to receive more of Me, but already Satan has turned your heart aside. Behold, I say, today is the day of salvation, and now is the accepted time. I have dealt with you time and time again, but My mercy will not always strive with man. Come now, saith the Lord, or I will cut you off quickly..."
I don't know what else was said, because I had made a b-line to the altar - with or without my friend - I didn't care. I had to get a hold of God and grab onto the horns of the altar - NOW! I would let nothing, nor no one, distract or discourage me. I would be baptized in the Holy Ghost tonight, if it killed me.
I felt about 5 preachers lay hands on me and praying for me to get the Holy Ghost. I had sought many times before, but to no avail. I told God that if He would fill me tonight, that I would give up anything that displeased Him. I told him that I would do whatever He wanted me to, and go wherever He wanted me to go.
That beautiful surrendered heart was what touched the heart of God, and instantly I began to speak in tongues - in a heavenly language that I had never learned. I was speaking to God, not unto men - but it was a sign to all that saw and heard, that I had been filled with the Blessed Holy Ghost!
The Bible says the Spirit speaks through us to God, when we don't know how to pray as we aught. Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
So, for those of you who try to deny the baptism of the Holy Ghost, all I can say is that you came too late. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good, and every good gift and every perfect gift comes from above. This experience imparted a boldness and joy that I had never known.
One preacher gave me the best advice of all, when he told me to pray in the Holy Ghost every day. Jesus, while here on earth, could not be with everyone, at all times, but He said, when He went back to the Father, that He would not leave us comfortless. He would send the Holy Ghost that could be with us, by dwelling in us, at all times!
God then called me to go to Bible College, and assured me that I would meet the man of my dreams there. I argued that I couldn't afford it, but He promised to make a way. I told no one of my call because I knew no one would want me to leave.
Days later, my pastor and wife asked me to go along with them to visit a Bible College they had graduated from in PA. Somehow I knew this was a sign from God, and was excited to go. When we arrived and sat down in a huge sanctuary, there were two big scrolls hanging from the ceiling that read, "Attempt great things for God, Expect great things from God!" (William Carey)
As soon as I sat down, God said, "I want you here." I was frozen with fright. I knew I had no money, and too many bills and responsibilities. I then began to cry in disappointment. My pastor's wife asked what was wrong, and when I told her, she let out a shout of joy, right there in church! Her husband looked at us in bewilderment, until she whispered in his ear. He let out a, "Well, praise God!" and now people were really looking at us strange.
My pastor's wife then told me not to worry, and confirmed that, if, in fact, it was God's will, He would make a way. We then got ourselves back under control, and tried to behave a little more dignified for the rest of the service.
I couldn't take my eyes off the two huge scrolls up front. I whispered to my pastor's wife, "They have those in the wrong order. It should read, "Expect great things from God, and then, Attempt great things for God. Because, only after God provides the way and means, would you be able to do anything for Him."
"No, no, you have it wrong," she corrected me, "You have to first ATTEMPT to do His Will, by faith, and THEN, He will supply your every need." I found out later, that it is quoted, and works, both ways. Thank God for godly pastor's wives! I never dreamed that one day, I too, would get to be one.
A Vision, A Boyfriend & A Plate of Spaghetti
The Lord helped me sell my car, and save enough money over the summer to go to Bible College that fall. This particular Bible College was inexpensive, but had very high standards. Not to mention, you had to share a small dorm room with 5 other roommates, and had mandatory, time-consuming chores to do. There were constant personality clashes, not enough closet space, and no privacy, but I was determined to make the best of it.
My unsaved parents did not want me to go, and would not support me financially in any way. They said I would not be able to handle the travel because of my car sickness problem, and that I would not be able to sleep at nights, without rocking myself to sleep. Oops, did I miss that small idiosyncrasy about myself...
Ever since I can remember, I have rocked myself to sleep. This was initiated by my Mother and Aunt, who spoiled me rotten by rocking me to sleep, in a rocking chair, every night since I was born. I don't know if it was because I was the "special child that died, and then was resurrected," or if it was because I was so choleric. I think it was probably a combination of both.
My younger sister even refused to stay at her friend's house, because we had slept together for so many years, and she was addicted to my rocking her to sleep. I just fold my hands in the prayer position, and my body in the fetal position, and rock back and forth until I fall to sleep. Very simple, yet very effective.
Many school mornings my mom would hit me in the head with the brush, because the rocking would rat my hair into unmanageable tangles. She tried scolding me and beating me, but nothing worked. I have often thought of entering myself into the Guinness Book of Records, for having rocked myself to sleep practically every day of my 46 years of life! But then again, I really don't think that's something my grandkids would be proud of...
Well, me and Jesus fooled them all, and God miraculously healed me of car sickness, and kept me from rocking those 3 years of Bible College. It's a good thing too, because I traveled on college ministries all over the country, singing and performing in plays.
God also helped me maintain a perfect 4.0 G.P.A. to help convince my unsaved parents that I was in the perfect will of God. I had always made the B honor roll in High School, but dad would always say that I could make A's, if I really wanted to, and he was right. I just never really wanted to before, but now I had a subject that I loved to learn, and couldn't get enough of - the Bible.
I was now in my Junior year, and the Seniors were all speaking in Chapel about, how, if they had it to do all over again, they would pray and find God's will, long before it was time to graduate. This dealt with my heart, and I decided to get up and pray, every night at 3:00am, to find God's perfect will for my life. That was the only time it was quiet and peaceful in the sanctuary.
I had received lots of dating offers from very handsome Christian guys, but each time I prayed about it, the Lord said, "No." But, I wasn't just looking for a soul mate, I was looking for a ministry, a place and specific instructions.
I was also surrendered to the idea of being single the rest of my life - as one of my best friends had shared, was God's plan for her. She was so beautiful, and I couldn't help thinking she was mistaken, and what a waste. She has kept her vow to that calling, to this very day - and is one of the most dedicated Christian women I have ever met in my life - one of the few I actually admire.
One night while I was praying, the Lord spoke to me, not to come down anymore that time of night, but that He was going to show me, that night, what His perfect will was. I was elated and began to cry and praise Him. I then arose and went to my top-bunk bed, and as soon as my head hit the pillow, God showed me a vision of a guy in our college. He said, "He is pleasing in my sight," and impressed upon me that he was going to be my husband, and that my ministry would be his ministry. That together we would do a great work for God in these last days.
I was so excited, but at the same time baffled, because I barely knew the guy. I had seen him around and knew he preached good, but I did not even know his name, or what class he was in. I said, "God, if he is for me, and me for him, then You will have to put a love in his heart for me, and visa versa." I had learned that true love comes from God - so I knew that was what He already had in mind.
Also, I found out why God told me not to go down to the sanctuary anymore, at that time of night. The very next night, around that time, the place was ransacked by neighborhood thugs, the kitchen was robbed and some guys even went into girl's dorms, while they were sleeping. The college then set up a night watch system, where the guys all took turns keeping an eye on the place. I whispered a silent, "Thank You, Lord." He is so omniscient!
I purposed in my heart to tell no one about the vision, and let God do all the work - that way I would know for sure it was His will - and not mine. I asked God to give me little signs to confirm it. The next day, I secretly found out that his name was John Richards, that he was in our class (gasp - how could I have missed that?), that one of my friends had a mad crush on him, and that he was my same age.
The amazing thing about his initials being J.R. and his last name being Richards, was that, when I was much younger, I used to think of different last names that I though would be cool to have. My mom used to park the car along the road, beside the hospital, and would leave us kids there to wait until she returned.
There was a big business nearby called Prichards, and the "P" had dropped off the sign. I didn't like the name "Prichards," at all, but I really liked the name "Richards." It seemed to roll off my tongue, and ring a bell - Sandra Richards - sounded so sophisticated, I dreamed. But, at the same time, I knew of absolutely no one with that last name.
As for the initials, I had carved S.S loves J.R. into a tree, deep in the woods, from my previous relationship. I had almost scratched it out, but this was my "special spot," where I would go to be alone with God. Something told me to leave it be, and maybe someday I would meet someone else with those same initials, and bring him here to tell the story.
Everyone at the college had chores. John's job was to turn on and off the lights, and ring the bell for services. He was a very shy, quiet type person, but at the same time had a bold, confident manner about him. Having no inclination of what God had shown me a couple of nights before, he walked past me to turn on the lights, then stopped and said hi. My heart raced and I couldn't help but think, "Hi nothing, you have no idea that you are going to be my husband someday!"
Another day, while he was getting ready to ring the bell for classes, he saw me walking by, and ran, not walked, a good distance out of his way, to open the door for me. I couldn't help but laugh out loud - it was so funny and obvious that God was trying to make a point. John later told me that he had never before or since, stopped and said hi to any girl, out of the blue like that, and had never ran from the bell to the Sanctuary, to open the door for a girl. Still, he had no notion yet of what was really going on.
One night, I went on a college ministry to my home church and saw both of my parents come to the Lord. I cried all the way back to the college, and into the night ,with joy. John heard about it, and stopped me in a hallway to congratulate me. A couple days later I sang, "When He Reached Down His Hand For Me" in Chapel service, and he walked over to the forbidden girl's side of the Sanctuary, to compliment me.
Everyone else had gone but we stayed and talked for a long time. I thought I would burst from the goodness of God. Not only had He just saved my parents, but was also giving me the sweetest guy I had ever met, as a boyfriend. It was at this moment that John said he knew for sure, that I was the one for him.
Within weeks we were dating. Well, actually let's just say we were allowed to sit across from each other at meals, and could spend a half hour together, in the same manner, at "Social Hour." As far as dates were concerned, they kept us both on separate ministries constantly, and we never got to take advantage of us both being on Dean's List. That allowed us 2 dates (always double dating. of course) instead of the normal 1, that we never got to enjoy anyway. Oh well, it's the thought that counts.
One problem we had was that John could not eat in front of me. He would leave the cafeteria and go pig out at McDonalds, but to eat in front of me was impossible. He had never had a girlfriend in his life, and it was just too much overload on his system at one time, to eat and make conversation with the girl of his dreams (his words). We tried everything, but to no avail. It drug on into months, when one day, John assured me that today was going to be the day. He was going to conquer this problem, if it was the last thing he'd ever do.
I was elated to see that he had quickly eaten a whole plate of spaghetti, and smiled at him and said, "John, I am sooooo proud of you!" He beamed with pride and smiled back. But just then, the smile turned into a pale grin, and then into a huge vomit all over his plate, and in front of everyone. Yuck! I was the waitress and had to take the plate to the kitchen, while all our peers laughed their heads off!
I couldn't blame them, I was laughing too, but didn't want John to see me. I waited until I got my composure back, and then walked back in and sat down across from him. He apologized over and over, and felt like he had let me down. I assured him that if he never ate in front of me again, the fact that he really tried was all that mattered. From that day on, he has never again had that problem.
A Perfect Church, A Backslid Preacher & A Run For My Life
One time, I went on a college ministry, to a church in Missouri, that my roommate had been bragging about, for months. It was her homechurch, and she was constantly telling everyone about her "perfect" (though she did not use that exact word) church, pastor and his family. He was supposed to be a real fireball of a preacher, good looking, and the best pastor, and family, a church could ever ask for.
She painted such a flawless picture of it all, that everyone was looking forward to going on that particular ministry. However, only a handful of us got to go - those that could sing, preach or play an instrument, were usually chosen. I felt privileged, and was not disappointed when we arrived.
My eyes immediately alighted on one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She was a small, petite, German lady, without a flaw. Her coal-black hair and eyes were captivating. Then my eyes fell upon two darling, perfectly beautiful, smiling and innocent-looking children. One boy and one girl, around the same age - 5 or 6-ish. They were very mannerly and polite, and also seemed flawless.
Then, in walked the nice-looking, dynamic pastor, that we had been hearing so much about. And if I didn't know better, I would have thought for sure that they had just stepped out of a fairytale story book. You had to be there, to appreciate the awe of it. When we later met the church people, and toured the church, we all realized that my roommate had not exaggerated at all. If anything, she may not have done justice to the "every Bible-College student's" dream.
But, as the saying goes, "When something seems too good to be true, it probably is." I first started having second thoughts when the pastor started staring at me with lustful eyes - believe me, a girl knows the difference, and I wasn't being vain. Then later, when he started making rather rude and suggestive comments, I started studying everyone else's eyes, to see if they were getting the same vibes. I only saw signs of adoration and respect, and was ashamed of myself for thinking such carnal thoughts.
I tried talking to one of the other girls about it, but she looked at me with utter disgust, at the very thought, that I would even dare mention such a negative thing. I then decided to dismiss the idea altogether, that is, until I later talked with "the wifey." I told her that I wanted to see her hair down (she had it up on her head, in a lovely unique design, and had done it herself) because I wanted to see it "touch the floor" - as she had proclaimed earlier.
She asked me to follow her into the bedroom, where she would take it down. She had just cooked a marvelous meal, and I told her that we all admired her, and her family and church. That they were like the "utopia" pastorate we all dreamed of. I wasn't ready for her response, and it shocked me.
She told me to lock the door, then she burst into tears, saying it wasn't all what it seemed. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, but she began sobbing on my shoulders, and begged me not to tell a soul, but just to pray for her. I immediately understood. My suspicions had been right - it was all a facade. My heart went out to her, and I rocked her in my arms, and prayed for her, for a long time.
I had no idea just how bad it was, until the next day. I came out of my bedroom, and couldn't find the rest of the ministry crew. I searched all over, to find only the pastor and family home. The crew had jokingly threatened to leave me behind before, because I took too long "primping," but had never followed through with it. We were all supposed to run down to the nearest foodmart and pick up a few things.
I was flustered, and heard the pastor's loud evil laugh, "Ha ha, I told them to leave you behind!" I glanced at his wife, but she avoided my gaze. I asked her where they went, and he said that they were just tricking me, and were all over at the church hiding from me. Hmmm, that sounded like something they would do. I then went over to the church (right across the road) to investigate.
I searched everywhere, hollering out their names, and threatening them. About that time, I turned around, and there stood the pastor with that evil grin on his face, and lust in his eyes. He blocked my exit, and kept coming towards me. "There not here! You lied!" I screamed. He just kept coming slowly towards me and laughing. I tried to get around him, but he wouldn't let me. "Get out of my way! I'm gonna tell on you!" I threatened like a scared child.
He was now a few feet away, and my heart was pounding with fear. Was this part of the "prank," I couldn't help but wonder? I didn't know, and I didn't care - I saw my only break and took it. I acted as if I was going to run to the right, but then made a b-line for the emergency exit on the left. I had never ran so fast in my life, all the way to the parsonage, and into my bedroom. I fell on the bed in exasperation and cried in relief. That had been so close, and could have been so ugly, but, like Joseph, I ran for my life to keep my testimony pure. If it was all a big joke, then so be it. I was deeply hoping that it was, for everyone's sake. But, sadly, it was not.
The crew all returned from the foodmart a while later, and said that the pastor had talked them into leaving me there, "to teach me a lesson - ha ha." I smiled, and took it all in stride, while aching with disappointment on the inside. That night, the service went great, as expected, and it all seemed like just a bad dream. At the end of the service, the pastor got up and ranted and snorted on adultery and fornication. I shivered in my shoes, knowing his hypocrisy, and expecting God to strike him dead at any time.
But, God did not strike him dead, instead, I had to listen to more of his praises, on the trip back to Bible College. Only, now, instead of just my roommate boasting, it was the whole deceived crew. And I had to sit there with my big mouth shut, lest I say something that I would later regret. I just prayed quietly, that justice would be done, and that God would bring this man's hypocrisy into the light, before more people were deceived. Or, that somehow he would repent, confess and forsake his sins, before it was too late.
Around a week later, my roommate received a phone call, then returned to the classroom crying uncontrollably. Her pastor had just ran off with the piano player. Everyone was shocked, that is, everyone but me. I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, that it was finally out in the open. I was hoping that he would confess and repent, but obviously, he was too far backslid, like Saul, in the Old Testament. I whispered a prayer for his wife and kids, and could feel the heartache that they must have been experiencing, at that time.
I knew it would come out in the open, because you can be sure your sins will find you out (Num. 32:23). I wrote a song about this verse, on my sandyssongs.com page. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool God any of the time. God gives the gift of discerning of spirits, and we really need this today, as there are so many deceivers, and wolves in sheep's clothing. Thank you God for Your discernment and justice!
A Missionary, A Pimply Face and An Abscessed Tooth
I was having a hard time financially making ends meet at bible college, and then one preacher told a miraculous story of a girl who previously attended the college. She had received ten dollars for her birthday to buy doughnuts, her favorite treat, but God told her to put it in the missionary offering. She did, and about a week later, the college received a call from a doughnut store, asking them if they would like to receive their "day-old" doughnuts for free, everyday.
I realized that I was enjoying the very doughnuts that her sacrifice and faith had helped to produce. They then proceeded to take up a missionary offering, and I was sitting there thinking about the only money I had left to my name. It just happened to be 10 dollars, and was hidden under the sole of one of my shoes. It was to be my laundry and personal needs money for that week.
I was thinking about the "well-to-do" students that could give 10 dollars, or more, and never feel the impact. Most of them had parents that supported them with a never-ending supply of money, whereas I had no means of support, other than my summer-work savings. Then, I thought of the woman with the two mites, and how it's not how much you give that counts, but rather how much you have left. I marched up and gave the whole amount to the missionaries.
That weekend, my friends wanted me to go with them to do laundry, but I told them I was broke. I would have to wash my clothes out by hand. That was always fun - not. The rich girls would complain that us poor girls were hogging up the sinks, and they had nowhere to wash their little, delicate hands. Oh dear me, someone call 911! Instead of helping out those less fortunate, they would judge, criticize and shame them.
Now I knew why God allowed me to go through this, so I could see how "the other side" had it. So I could sympathize with those less fortunate than me, and have a heart of compassion, not ridicule. They even complained to the women's dean, who told us losers, that we did not deserve to be in bible college, if we had no more faith than that! What?!
What would Jesus do? Wouldn't He tell the rich, snobby girls not to point a finger, but rather lend a hand. Shouldn't they have said, here is some money to help you do your laundry, because I have more than enough. God has blessed me with godly, generous parents that support me, so the least I can do is share it. That's the God I know. That's the God I want to reflect.
I told God that they did not understand, and that He would have to help me, or I would have to go home. He told me to go look in my shoe again. I started to assure Him that I had given all to His missionaries, when He prompted me even stronger. I obeyed, and there it was - a 10 dollar bill, right where the other one had been! Wow! and I mean Wow! Did that ever jump-start my faith! God provided so good for me, that from then on, I was able to help the girls less fortunate, time and time again. What a faithful God!
I also learned a valuable lesson in being careful about what you say, and think. One of my girl friends and I were having a deep, spiritual, theological discussion about which would be worse - having a face full of pimples, or having an abscessed tooth. We argued back and forth for a while, until she finally yelled, "I'd rather have an abscessed tooth, than a face full of pimples any day!" "Oh yeah," I countered, "Well, I'd rather have a face full of pimples!"
We got our wish. This is the gospel truth. The next day she woke up with a throbbing, jaw-swelling, abscessed tooth, and I woke up with a horrid face full of pimples, like I'd never had before! It was like something out of "The Twighlight Zone" - only it was true!
We took one look at each other and laughed hysterically, in spite of the pain. Don't ever give place to the devil - Eph. 4:27. Satan took advantage of the situation, and God allowed it, to teach us a valuable lesson. According to your faith - so be it unto you. We should have said, "Well, I'm going to trust God to get neither!" Thank you Lord for Your chastisement - Heb. 12:6 "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth."
A Kids' Camp, A Big Offering & A Helping Hand
One summer, I was trying to get a job to earn enough money to return to bible college. At the same time, some churches wanted me to be a camp counselor for the local Christian Kids' Camp. I wanted to do that so bad, but it did not pay any money. I knew that I really needed the money, but at the same time, I loved working with kids and helping change their lives for Christ.
I decided to go to the camp, because they really needed me, and I could do a great work for God there. I was not sorry that I did, because we had a great turnout, and many lives were transformed, and filled with the holy Ghost. I would tarry with the kids around the altar, even after everyone else left, because I remembered how one preacher had done the same for me, years earlier.
I was amazed at how kids, as young as 5 years old, would pray until they received the baptism. It was beautiful, and was a little glimpse of heaven. Most of these kids had to return home to unsaved parents, in a non-Christian enviroment, and some were neglected, molested or abused on a daily basis. Dear God, help the innocent children. He said that to offend one of these was like touching the apple of His eye, and it would be better to drown yourself. I became so attached to the pitiful kids, that I would cry for hours when they would leave.
Unbeknownst to me, I was being carefully observed by a local minister, who was impressed with my burden, and asked me to come speak at his church. The camp leaders also begged me to stay for the aldult camp - to be an altar worker. I consented to both, but in my heart was thinking about how I was going to pay for my upcoming college tuition. I would worry about it later - right now, there were lost souls that needed saved, broken hearts that needed mended, lonely lives that needed companionship, all of which only Jesus can fill - but must use us as vessels, to proclaim and share this Good News!
When I later went to speak at the local church, they took up an offering for me, that far covered all expenses needed for bible college! Ahhhh, what a blessing and relief that was. They also gave me a basketfull of necessities and toiletries. I was overwhelmed at their kindness. It was my home church from years ago, and I had no idea that I would be helping to pastor it one day. I knew it was God's way of blessing me for being dedicated, and working so hard at the camp altars.
Everything seemed to be working out so good for me, but then I received a desperate call from one of my best friends. She said she might get fired from her job for holding to a conviction, and I told her to take a stand. She told me that was easy for me to say, since I already had all the money I needed to return to Bible College that fall, but she did not.
It was hard, but I told her that if she took a stand, and they fired her, that I would help her pay her tuition expenses, and find a better job. Also, it was illegal for them to fire her for her convictions. She reminded me that we only had a few weeks left before college started, and that was not enough time to find another job or go to court over the issue. Her current employer had given her a deadline of two weeks to conform, and one week had already expired.
Although I had told her that I would help her financially with the money God had blessed me with, I can't help but admit that I had second thoughts. I mean, why did she wait so long to get a job in the first place - she wasn't working at the camps like I was, but had been taking it easy. If I helped her, then that would leave me with not enough, and we would both have to find jobs and come up with the balance within weeks...
But then I remembered the starving widow woman, and how she gave her last meal to the prophet Elijah, as her and her hungry son sat watching him eat it. God blessed her for giving out of her want, and she never went hungry again! And the Bible says, Freely you have received, freely give. That did it - I would help my friend, even if it meant more hardship and inconvenience on my part. God would make a way.
Thankfully, she took a stand and was not fired. Instead they praised her for standing firm on her beliefs. She was so tickled and called and thanked me over and over for encouraging her to do the right thing. I was so glad that she took a stand for what she believed, and God honored it, and that I also had obeyed God. Because sometimes, "It's not how much you give to God that counts, but how much you have left."
A Wedding , A Baby's Car Seat & A Double Prophecy
John and I had been dating for almost a year now, and I knew it was getting serious. John had been hinting about an engagement ring, and I was getting cold feet. He said that God had not shown him, in such a dramatic way as He had me, that I was his perfect soul-mate, but from the first time that he really felt it - he had never doubted since.
I, on the other hand, was quite the opposite. I had had many doubts and fears, but was ashamed to ask God for one more sign. God says it is a carnal generation that always seeketh after a sign. It's just that my own parents' marriage ended in divorce, and I was afraid the same might happen to me.
We were going to graduate soon, and one day in class, a teacher was expounding on the pros and cons of a church bus-ministry. I had always paid close attention to every teacher to maintain my dean's list/4.0 status, but this day, my mind couldn't stop wandering. I was thinking, "Lord, please forgive me for not trusting You enough - help Thou my unbelief," when my Bible opened to John 1:6, "There was a man sent from God, whose name was John." I had never known that verse was in the Bible, and gasped out loud. My close African friend, sitting in front of me, turned to see what I was gasping about. She read the verse and whispered, "God's trying to tell you something."
At that very moment, out of the blue, my teacher cries out, "There was a man sent from God, whose name was John!" My girl friend screamed and almost jumped out of her seat! I just sat there in shock with my jaw dropped open... how could he have known what we were talking about right then? He had just been ranting on a long, boring discourse about the bussing ministry.
The teacher had no idea about John and I, but all the students in the class did, and they roared with laughter when he said it. He then stopped, and was taken aback by the unexpected response. Someone then explained to him about John and me dating. He then went on to explain to all of us that his first name was John also, and that he and his wife had had a similar experience, during their engagement.
Meanwhile, John and I knew there was something much deeper going on. That confirmation did it for me. We were married that summer after graduation and went immediately to Ohio to pastor a church, while the current pastor was intenerating.
We then went to North Carolina to pioneer a small church with no people. It really helps to have people, so we did door to door visitation for many days. John was not able to find a job and we were running out of food, and now living in a room of the small church. Plus, to top it all off, we had a thief on our hands. Someone had been eating our food, and had ate half a loaf of bread.
That night while sleeping, we found out who the sneaky thief was. I felt something running around on my chest, and looked up to see the biggest rat that I had ever seen in my life, staring me straight in the eyes. I screamed, and John jumped up and grabbed a knife and broom. He then proceeded to chase the thief around and around our little room, to no avail. The next day, we purchased a huge rat trap and had rat soup for supper. Just kidding.
I was so hungry and wanted to call my dad to send me money, but John didn't want my parents to think he could not provide for me. I understood, but we were now down to crackers and cheese. We both started praying and heard a knock at the door. We went to the door and a black lady that we had witnessed to while going door to door, handed us a $10 bill. She said the Lord told her to give it to us, then went on her merry way.
The next day, we heard another knock, and when we opened the door, no one was there. We looked down, and there, on the steps, was a couple boxes of groceries the kind neighborhood folks had collected for us. John finally got a good job, and we were much more thankful for what little we had, and for such good neighbors.
God led us to the home of a KKK member, and that was kind of scary. He had a big sign above the door that had a picture of a gun aimed at us, and read, "The man of this house is armed and there's nothing in here worth risking your life for!"
He was in the famous Greensboro NC shootout ,between the Communist and Nazis -Ku Klux Klan. TV reporters heard that he and his family had started coming to our church, and were there filming us many times. We told them that he had had a change of heart, and that God could save anyone, so it was good publicity for the Gospel.
Some of our best friends were black, and we assured them that there was nothing to worry about. We told Ray that you could not hate people - but you had to love their souls, and hate their ways. He and his wife would spend long moments crying at the altar. They had been taught to think this way all their lives, and now here is a young newlywed couple telling them that it was wrong. That there was a better way, a better life.
John's sister and husband had moved to NC to help us out with the church, and had been trying to have a child for over 15 years. We would pray often for God to bless them with a child, and one day his sister shared the good news. She was around 6 months pregnant, but didn't want to tell us sooner. because of all the miscarriages she had experienced in the past. She had never carried one past a couple months, so this was a good sign, her doctor assured her.
Her husband was not saved, but came to church anyway. God spoke to my heart one night during a service, to tell Harry that if he did not come to the altar that night, God would take the child. I did not want to do it, but I was afraid not to. Just then, Harry went out to the parking lot to smoke, so I followed him, in tears.
Needless to say, he was not happy to hear what I had to say, and said that God would never do that. I told him that I did not want to tell him, but I was afraid that if I didn't and something would happen, I would never be able to forgive myself. I begged him to come and make things right with God, but he refused and asked me not to say anything about this to his wife. I agreed, but one week later the baby was miscarried.
There was nothing I could do to console her. I finally gave up and decided to walk back home, just down the street. I was talking to God, "Lord, is this the way You treat your children? It's not her fault that her husband is stubborn. Why would you take it out on the mother and the child? Is this what is going to happen to me too?"
Just then I heard a voice say, "Look down." Huh, look down? Doesn't the Bible say to "look up," and not down? Oh well, I had learned by now to never question the Lord. You can't put Him in a box, and He hardly ever does the same thing twice. To my astonishment, when I looked down, I saw a brand new baby car seat with a blue and white checkered covering on it. And it was lying in a deep ravine, right there, beside the road.
I picked it up and the Lord spoke to my heart that it was a double prophecy, for John's sister and for me. We would both have a baby boy. God didn't say when or who would have one first, but just that we would both have one. When I went up and shared this news with her, she was elated, but leery.
She was so afraid of getting her hopes up again, and I couldn't much blame her, but I knew what I knew. And I have to know for sure it is God, before I will say something like that. Meanwhile, she advertised the car seat in the lost and founds and no one claimed it. I knew they wouldn't, and I told her to keep it until we saw who needed it first. It was very exciting.
Sadly, Ray had to go to prison for supposedly threatening to "blow up Greensboro," and his family stopped coming to church. The preacher who owned the NC church building was threatening to sell it, so we had to close it. But, the seeds had been planted, and years down the road, we heard that Ray had made his peace with God, before passing away during his prison sentence. We weren't there long, but it was long enough to touch one of the toughest hearts in the area. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Approximately a year later, we had our promised son, and John's sister gave us the car seat. She said, "I knew the prophecy was for you." I again assured her that it was for her, too. She just had to be patient.
A Baby Race, A Sonogram & A Little Pink Barrette
We then moved to Texas to pastor a small church there. No one wants the "small" churches. Everyone wants the "big church with the big salary." But we had told God, when we were married, that whithersoever He would lead, we would follow. Where there was a "need," no matter how small, and where there were "souls," no matter how few - we would go.
I now had another baby on the way, and was hoping for a little girl this time. My midwife kept saying it was going to be a boy because of the heartbeat. She later sent me for a sonogram, and the Doctor there, said he also thought it was going to be a boy. He had a sign that stated he had never been wrong for two years, since starting his business. Oh well, as long as it was healthy was what was important, and he did assure me of that. But, before I left the room, his elderly nurse bent over and whispered in my ear, that she thought it was going to be a girl. Hmmmm....
The next day I was carrying the vacuum cleaner across the road, from the parsonage to the church, to do some much needed cleaning. I thought, "Lord, I will accept whatever you give me, but please just show me one way or the other." Again, the Lord said, "Look down." Huh... This sounded kind of familiar... I looked down, but didn't' see a thing. I must have misunderstood. But again, I heard, "Look down." I looked again and there it was! A beautiful small pink baby barrette. Where in the world did that come from? I didn't know and didn't care. I picked it up, and knew God was telling me that I was going to have a baby girl!
Meanwhile, I adored my son. He was such a blessing and so well behaved, but had a tendency to be accident proned. One day, when he was around 6 months old. I sat him down to play outside. I went inside for a minute and when I came back out, he was screaming, and covered with hundreds of little fire ants! He was treated by a doctor, and we tried to get rid of all the fire ant colonies. That's about as easy as getting rid of all the grass burs in TX. Ain't gonna happen!
One night we went to Wal-Mart to get some groceries, and lo and behold they were having a "Baby Race Contest." We had never heard of such a thing, and enquired of it's details. We found out that it was a crawling race for babies under 1 year old, and the winning prize just happened to be a brand new baby car seat! We really needed one for the new baby because Johnny was still using his.
The race was marked off at about 20 feet by 20 feet. About 10 babies were placed on one side, and the mothers on the other. You could use anything to entice them, but you were not allowed to enter the "square." When the whistle was blown, all the babies just sat there staring in fear at all the people standing around cheering.
That is, all except for one - "Big Red." Some red-headed baby boy, that stood head and shoulders above the rest, was making a b-line for the finish line. I was frantically waving Johnny's bottle, and begging, "Bottle, Johnny, come get your bottle." But he was oblivious to me. His eyes darted in panic at all the hysteria around him. Big Red was now just a few feet from the finish line. I began to pray, "Lord, please let the people who need this car seat the most, win." I thought maybe the Lord knew they needed it more than us.
Just when Big Red was about a foot from the finish line, he stopped. His mother was reaching out for him, but he turned around and started crawling the opposite way! At the very same time, I saw Johnny's eyes focusing in on me, and quietly held up his bottle. He slowly began to crawl toward me, while Big Red did circles around him. The other babies were either crying, or still staring in shock, never moving an inch.
My little, 9 month-old, baby boy had just crossed the finish line, and won a beautiful, expensive car seat for his soon-to-come baby sibling. God sure works in mysterious ways! John and I both say to this day, that God put an invisible angel in front of Big Red, to keep him from crossing the finish line. He knew I was praying for the "most deserved" family to win, and that must have been us. He is so faithful!
Another day, when Johnny was around 18 months old, he said, "Mommy, Mommy, come look at what I found!" then took off running behind the house. I slipped on some shoes, and then followed in the direction he went. I then saw him going behind the abandoned building right beside us. When I came around the corner, I froze with horror. My son and his little pet doggy were standing right in the middle of a huge swarm of bees. This swarm was so big it covered the whole yard. I could barely see my son, and couldn't understand why he, and his doggy, were not getting stung.
I screamed for him to come to me, but he couldn't hear me over the loud buzzing of the bees. I breathed a quick prayer and walked right into the midst of the bees, took Johnny's hand, and marched him and his little dog out of there. There was not even one bee sting between the three of us. What a wonderful miracle that was! The next day, my neighbor told me that there were some kind of rare, very poisonous bees next door, and to be sure and keep my child away from them. I never told him any different.
The worst incident of all, with my son, was the day I couldn't find him. He was now around 21 months old, and I was around 8 months pregnant. I had been watching him and his dog playing, through the kitchen window and screen door. I received a phone call and had been momentarily distracted. I yelled and checked all around the house and the neighbor houses, yet still could not find him. It was the worse feeling I had ever felt in my life! My baby was gone! Had someone taken him? Had he wandered off? Had he been ran over?
I began to pray in the Holy Ghost under my breath, and just then I saw some kids walking by that had just been dismissed from classes. I ran over and asked if they had seen a small boy and a dog anywhere, and they all shook their heads. I started to cry, when one boy ran over to me and asked if I was looking for a very small boy and dog. He told me they were walking along the heavily-trafficked main highway, a long way down the road. My heart sank. He took off running and I followed him, running as fast as my fat, 8 months pregnant, body would go.
We ran so far, I was out of breath and my heart was hurting. But then we saw them. There right in front of us, was a beautiful picture of a little boy walking his doggy down the road. The only ugly element was the fact that there were hundreds of cars passing right by them, only a foot away, at 55 mph! I rushed past the boy who led me there, and grabbed Johnny up into my arms!
I then turned around to thank the boy, but no one was there. I looked everywhere. I mean he was gone just like that! There was no where he could have went that fast - and then it dawned on me. He was no boy - he was an angel. I was now deeply in debt to God for saving my life, both spiritually and literally, and now for saving my son's life!
My daughter was delivered at a hospital, by my shocked midwife. She just couldn't believe that she, and the doctor, had both been wrong. I had both children natural, and was in labor for 24 hours with Johnny, and 12 with Shannon. Their births were the most painful, and yet, most joyful, days of my life. I had two miscarriages between them, but they were only a few weeks old. Still, I know that someday I will see them up in heaven. In honor to their memorial, I named them Tonya and Joshua, and wrote a song about them. (sandyssongs.com)
Soon after Shannon was born, I put the little pink barrette in her hair and took a picture. I finally got my little girl, and still have the barrette. I will explain later why we don't still have the "double prophecy" carseat. I tell Johnny he's special because he was the "firstborn son," and Shannon, because she is the "baby girl." We try our best to avoid partiality, as it always causes problems down the road.
